i've lost

twenty pounds. i can see all these changes, but there are miles to go before i sleep.


i am not you and you are me.

it' not fair, but i can't be in anyone else's head but my own. no matter how much i want to. i'm stuck in me. i like being in me, but i want in you, too. i want your experience. i want your you.

but all i get is my you. it's never enough. i always want more. want to dig dig dig. i have hope. if we keep talking. if i keep hugging. if i keep pushing. maybe i'll get in.

it's scary to think of it the other way around. think of you in here. doubt you'd want it. don't know if i would. letting go that much. openning it all. does anybody really want that? it's crazy fun in there, but scary. anybody but me.